The Most Important Skill Set in Mental Health

What we found after analyzing nearly 55.000 studies

The Three Pillars of Psychological Flexibility 

We can now say with certainty that psychological flexibility is the single most commonly founded skill of importance to your mental health and emotional well-being. Whether you suffer from anxiety, depression, addiction, or any other kind of mental distress; psychological flexibility helps you deal with these issues more effectively, and move your life in a meaningful direction. So what does this skill entail? It’s best to think of it as three skills in one. 

Pillar #1 Awareness

The first pillar of psychological flexibility is awareness. This means noticing what happens in the present moment: What thoughts show up? Which feelings? And what other sensations can you notice in your body? It also means noticing these things from a more spiritual part of you — your witness or noticing sense of self. The “now” cannot be experienced with words alone – it needs to be attentively experienced. It’s the difference between talking about the flavor of an orange, and actually tasting the fruit. The latter is much richer than the former.

Instead of being “caught up” in your own head, awareness is about being in the here and now. And even more, it entails the ability to deliberately direct, broaden, or focus on different aspects of your experience. And all of that from the part of you that connects you in consciousness to others. 

Pillar #2 Openness

The second pillar of psychological flexibility is openness. This means allowing difficult thoughts and painful feelings, without them necessarily having to change in any way or form before you can move ahead toward the kind of life you want to live. This part is counterintuitive and often hard to grasp, because people tend to seek therapy precisely to get rid of their negative thoughts and feelings. Unfortunately, the mind does not work this way. Instead, openness is about dropping the internal fight, allowing thoughts and feelings to be what they are — merely thoughts and feelings — without them needing to control you. In that open posture, thoughts and feelings often do change in a more positive direction.

Pillar #3 Valued Engagement

The third pillar of psychological flexibility is valued engagement. This means knowing what matters to you, and taking steps in this direction. It involves being in contact with your goals — objectives you want to reach or achieve — and your values — those personal qualities you choose to manifest and be guided by, regardless of a specific outcome. These matters need to be freely chosen, rather than being forced on by others, or mindlessly followed out of custom. But once you have clarity about what matters, you can take action to build sustainable habits that make your life more about what gives it meaning.

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