We Don’t Heal, We Let Go

Pain only hurts the person carrying it.

"We don't really heal anything; we simply let it go." he said. 

Iconic psychologist Carl Jung said something that flipped my idea of healing from pain. If healing is not getting over something, what did Jung mean? He thought we don’t solve the past or erase pain. We simply release them. We let go of the things we're holding onto - resentments, fears, guilt, and old stories that no longer serve us. It sounds simple. But Jung’s wisdom is life-changing. Most people hold on to the past because, in a complicated way, they feel it's part of them. They’ve built identities around experiences that took a part of them away. They hold onto things, feelings, or memories that hurt and keep replaying them over and over again. It's like being stuck in a loop. 

“People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.” - Thich Nhat Hanh. 

The bad news is that when I hold onto hurt, I keep myself stuck. Jung's perspective is that letting go is an act of self-compassion. It's giving myself permission to move forward without dragging the weight of old wounds. When I let go, I’m releasing pain’s control on my present.

Healing is accepting what happened, processing it, and then letting it go. That’s the real magic of freedom. Acknowledge the emotion you are going through, feel it, and understand it. But don’t hold on or get attached to it. You can let it go, knowing you’ve made peace with your past. When we let go of our pain, we’re not denying it. We’re simply accepting it and moving on. We’re giving ourselves the space to heal, grow, and become stronger. 

Emotional wounds are complicated. I can’t change what’s already happened, no matter how much I might want to. The past is unchangeable, and trying to “fix” it makes the frustration worse. I'm no longer letting it define my every step. The past is there, but it no longer has to control my reality in the present. That's where healing happens—not by fixing the past, but by releasing it. It's like carrying a heavy backpack you don't need. It's harder to move forward when it keeps weighing you down. But when you let it go, you're free to move, breathe, and live. The more I hold onto old pain, the more it distorts my present. What if you stopped replaying the negative memories and focused on the positive ones? But when I let go, I open up space for real peace, joy, or even a sense of lightness. I don't have to make sense of every single piece of my past. I just need to accept it and let it be.

Holding onto pain just keeps you living in it. You can't change how someone treated you, but you can change how much space you let that memory take up in your life. Jung's point is that we don't heal by undoing the hurt or trauma—we heal by letting go of the attachment to it. Don't try to fix the unfixable—whether it's a painful memory or a past mistake—give yourself the room to breathe. Real healing is less about "doing" and more about "being". It's let go of the narrative that I'm broken or that I need fixing. I can exist, scars and all, and be okay with that. I don't have to force healing to happen. I don't need to check off some emotional to-do list. It's a shift in mindset - from holding on to letting go. It's also a practice. A daily decision to release what's not serving me - whether that's a thought, a feeling, or a belief. Some days it's easier than others. But the more I practice, the lighter I feel. Letting go is the most powerful form of healing. And in that release, you can find true transformation. Pain only hurts the person carrying it. 

"Whatever life takes away from you, let it go." - Miguel Angel Ruiz

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